Recovery diary - Day 58 - Strength and stability

05 April 2017

Back from a crazy weekend in Berlin where I had the chance to cheer for my friends and fellow NBRO runners. Pure fun, pure madness and a little bit of nostalgia when I looked back to last year - I did race this amazing route, score a PB and go through that same cheer zone.

Negative stuff also happened, always the same inner struggle and the same people bringing me back to the bottom... And me not being strong to fight them or that.

Which brings me to today's theme.
I was practicing some yoga in the best conditions - lighted candles, new yoga mat and nice ayurvedic smell in the room (I know, it's cliche and I really enjoy it).
I was doing this one hour practice, quite a difficult one but a good one - advised for runners and all kinds of athletes to strengthen their core muscles.
Just doing it, going with the flow, struggling, the end is soon.
Until some words caught all of my attention and made me lose focus: I was leaning on one leg, asked to feel "strength and stability" in it. It just clicked! As you know, I've been suffering from shin splits in 4 months in the right leg and recently started feeling the same syndrome in the left one.
I believed that this was all link to a point of my life when I was left by the one I loved, dealing with other issues from the past and not being able to grief. I still believe that grief has a part to play in all this. But I forgot to be strong. I forgot to let myself be sad and I forgot to be strong. I never faced the problem. I just kept on dreaming, hoping, but never faced the damn thing: he will not come back to me, no matter how hard it is to believe and to accept. This is over, belongs to the past and life is happening now.
He might even fall in love with another one - it's hard to accept but it's okay, I'll survive.

This is what I've been missing since the break up - I've been through 6 months of instability because I haven't been strong enough. I haven't had the guts to be.
As my physiotherapist advised me to work on my legs' strength and stability, I am now going to improve the same points on my mind. 

Time to let go of the past's injuries, these stories are gone.

Om at være stærk, krop og sind.


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