Recovery diary - Day 1 - Acknowledging the problem

12 February 2017


The only reason I havn't posted anything in here, in a while, is that I always question the use of a blog, especially for me. Especially if I'm not going to share it with the rest of the world. Leaving the discovery of these stories to fate.

Still, I need somewhere to express myself, which is not a note book - I already have notebooks for my deepest thoughts.

Since my lasts posts I've had to deal with the following (and am still in the turmoil):

- An injury - shin splits
I haven't been able to have a proper run in 2 months, and the injury is far from being gone;

- Massive skin rashes or eczema
My elbows are red, dry, suffer from massive abrasion, itch all the time. My neck is covered in red and dry patches, so is most of my face.

- Along with the eczema I got my teenager skin back and have to deal with pimples every other day - on both my face and back.


The reason why I feel like sharing this, is that I know I can't just go to the doctor and leave with a prescription of products which will temporarily sooth the pain - but not treat the problem(s) from the root.
It all pretty much appeared at the same time, which is 2 months ago. I've been trying some alternative treatment, which feels good, but the symptoms are still there. 
Let me get this straight: I've been dealing with a massive heartbreak for awhile and can't seem to get over it, no matter how hard I try. And when I say I try I mean it. I'm not in touch with the person anymore, I don't check his facebook page all the time or any kind of social media account he might have. Still, I felt like we had a special connexion since day 1, and not being in touch with him feels awfully wrong. Maybe it's because I still have feelings for him, but I can't help thinking that we're not done here.
But until this passes, I've decided to find the link between my broken heart and the physical stuff I'm suffering from. I might be completely mistaken but I like believing in the effects one's mind can have on one's body. I've done some research and below is what I found.

The Shins represent another weak link. Although the Shins are mostly bone, the hardest substance in the body, the Shins are actually quite sensitive and brittle. A slight whack on the Shins is not only painful, it weakens the entire body and stops it cold. When we have organized ourselves to move forward, to take the next step towards the goal we have set, and are in the process of taking it, something comes along and sends you tumbling. It is something we trip over because we don’t see it, even though it is right there in front of us. In ancient times the shin pads that worriers wore were called greaves. Very often what trips us up is something, the loss of which we haven’t properly grieved. Moving forward always means something gets left behind. Interesting to note is that the three Yin channels of the foot all criss cross at Spleen 6 (Sanyinjiao), representing a confluence of Worry, Anger, and Fear. Moving forward is often marked by a jumble of emotional responses which need to be sorted out, especially if we are resisting it. Louise Hay suggests that problems are fear of the future; not wanting to move ahead.

Eczema arises when you’re letting people get under your skin and trying to avoid your deepest truth - that you’re an intuitive being.
Also these rashes and other challenges represent a call to look very deep and to send compassion to ourselves in earlier times when we did not have the necessary tools to handle trauma or disappointment.

Acne is refusing to like and accept yourself as you are.

I believe now is too soon to draw conclusions on all of this. But I believe there're elements that I can learn from and hopefully use to cure myself.
And I decided to take this day as my first day towards a better version of myself. I decided to focus on all of that, research, think, cry, laugh, pray, hope. Because I'm a 100% sure that one day, things will be good again.

Have a lovely day.



P.S: I'm sorry I'm not crediting the sources I found these elements on, I just forgot to keep the links.
P.S 1: it's difficult to find the good pictures to illustrate what I'm going through. So I decided to post the one on top of the article - myself running on the track. Because this is what I'm leaning towards. The second is a photo of my dear friend Flora and I - because she's one of the few people who know what I'm going through and who believes that there're more than just rational explanations to the aforementioned symptoms.

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