Dreaming of post teenage stories

29 October 2016

Before facing that strange epic phase, and while in the eye of the thunder, one thinks chaos is temporary. He/She believes that shitty love stories, parties ending with head in the toilet and existential questions aren't going to last.
It's just a matter of time - once high school graduation over I'll be free. I'm going towards the white light, I will die and be born again from my ashes. I'm a fucking phoenix, you hear me?
So while being in the most overwhelming phase of life, one sits, closes eyes and patiently waits. Others just can't stand still and face the thing, being shut down by the events once, twice, countless times. But it's ok, because one day it will all be over - the sun will rise and the wind fall.

At least this is how I thought things would be. Having troubles facing my teenage years, I strongly believed that once I'd turn 18, 19, 20, things would get easier, softer, nicer. In a way they did. I grew up, learnt from my mistakes and simply understood that I was the only one responsible for my happiness. Life got more interesting and being independent offered me the best moments of my life. I would never go back to the past. 

But I wouldn't say that things got easy, soft and nice, the way they were when I was 12. Moving out of my parents' place and walking towards independence came with a price.
First of all, I decided to study. And when I got into university I realized that high school was just one phase, definitely not the hardest one. If I wanted to get a bachelor then a masters degree, I'd have to work twice as much as I did before. I wasn't prepared for that. I failed and had to retake the second year of my bachelor degree. 

I also got to meet new boys who weren't the demons of my past. How refreshing! But as I got closer to some of them, and hoped for a future with them, they became silent and eventually disappeared. Not ready, not into it, it's me it's not you! The love deceptions weren't over. Ridiculously ending love stories weren't just for teenagers. I know this is going to sound silly but I didn't expect it. Ten years after leaving high school I can only witness that this part of our lives will always be complicated. I feel like most of my friends, who are looking for easy and simple relationships, have troubles settling down. They have troubles just finding someone, boy or girl, who's just willing to hang out, take things as they come and see what happens. It sounds so simple though. 

There was also the time when I had to switch from being a student and enjoying it to a working girl. I had the chance of skipping the unemployment phase and moving directly to having a job. I was hired by the company of my dreams, yet I wasn't completely satisfied. I had a trouble getting used to the idea of waking up early every morning, going back home late, endlessly. One of the reasons is that I quickly got very tired of an intense job which I wasn't passionate about and where I felt completely left alone. Being surrounded by busy, tired and stressed out people didn't inspire me. It took me a few months to adjust. I eventually got there.

My point with this text is that being a twenty-something is an interesting blend of lightness and despair. Maybe I'm the only one who thought it would be easy and who was surprised to face challenges along the way. Don't get me wrong, I like challenge in general - I would really get bored without it. It just took me a while to realize that there're still phases of troubles and questionings after the teenage years. One becomes a post teenager and keeps on doing his/her best to find his way. And out of these years I got the "Post teenage stories" which I'd like to dig into and share with you. There're mine and my friends. I feel like telling every one's story and would love to take the perfect photos to illustrate them. 

Also, should you have something to tell, please feel to contact me. I would love to hear from you.


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